As I have competed with by Yandex - part first.

And how, one wonders, heartless search engine, be it three times a Web farm, will be able to answer the questions asked by people able to understand the intricacies of the soul and understand her impulses? .
So I decided to start competing with Yandex in response to the most important and popular questions that people ask. Define a set of frequently asked questions heartless sources have learned, so I decided to take himself for this purpose by Yandex. I started with the most important and traditionally popular question in Russia:.

What should I do?.




In general, too much difficulty did not cause a set of questions and I answered them just ten minutes:.
a. What to do when bored. - The question is trivial. The answer is too trivial - should scratch with his nose. Yes, it is scratch with. Intense stimulation of the anterior nasal passages causing an unprecedented rush of blood to the most important organ of the human body (ie the brain ), causing at once cease to be bored and start to swarm the many fruitful ideas. Many people mistakenly picking his nose for the lack of culture, but in reality it is a useful act of stimulating the front lobes of the brain. Only a biased cultural attitudes impede global companies to sell health nosokovyryalki automatic, and this is a potential billion-dollar business, especially in times of crisis, when everyone needs fresh ideas.

2. What should I do if my girlfriend is gop. I double checked - hop or goth? . Visigoths, Ostrogoths. they have ruined Rome ). But if a girl. gOP. , It is difficult. You can accept the fact that it is Semka and chewing gum ( slightly offset one another ), drinking beer and sitting on their haunches (if kraksivye legs, it's even a plus), but we can not tolerate the fact that she was swearing in the presence of my mother and stick . But out there - the girl must be well - Gopu to enter gluzdu (or both legs, right? Like, cool, yeah) and then for 2 days trezvyak. If it does not cease to be on this gopom - then either have to buy yourself a cap, a kilo of Semak and begin to adapt or replace the girl on the guarantee.

3. What to do if you broke a thermometer. If a mercury thermometer: Collect the mercury with a rag, wrapped in toilet paper, then in a plastic bag and gently throw in the trash, then wash the floors twice, and ventilate the room at least 6 hours. If an electronic thermometer: to buy a new.

4. what to do consult. The question seems puzzling, but it is not. If you ask such a question, you should stop drinking before surfing the Web, while long words can be printed full. And will not drain, a ' how to get drunk, I '.

5. what to do in a crisis. A very good question that Yandex not exactly answer - here is my competitive advantage becomes so obvious that venture capitalists like 5-10 million offer for the development of my super startup. What to do in a crisis? . crisis on his way somewhere, he goes on and on. And it all depends on your mental organization and innate tendencies. If you are gentle Turgenev girl ( not to be confused with the girls from ' Turgenev ), then the easiest way to hide in a corner and sob quietly for 30-40 minutes a day ' crisis, the crisis. What will happen to me? '. Should perform in the morning, which will create the desired image of the concentration and sadness at the workplace, making the chances of dismissal is strongly reduced and the Crisis of fun and fly invisibly.
egege, take the working class! ' .
If you're an oligarch, please contact me directly, I will consult a modest percentage of.
If you are asking, Dmitri, the question you've dialed the wrong place - Yandex does not help about the crisis, but Google will help - just to put adsense on your blog and the budget deficit will be completely eliminated.

6. what to do when an accident. Chart the incident, sign it, take pictures and above all - to celebrate, not to drink.

7. what to do Chernyshevsky. In. and. Lenin gave detailed answers to this question in the 3rd volume of collected works, chapters 11-14 and 23-28. In short - stop dash to snuff Vera Pavlovna grass.

8. what to do when bored. Hmm, seems to be picking his nose did not help no one subset of readers, and they reformulated the question. In this case you should check with your doctor, you may have honest disease of the brain, or even need breynektomiya hedkatting.

9. what to do if your hair falls out. I guess we are talking about the hair on your head. Well, I would have suggested to go on the back - and shave nalyso. What do you worse than Gosha Kutsenko? .

10. what to do in case of poisoning. Do not panic. A little beer and everything will be by.

Fuh. It is not easy, but I did not give up.